Elwood Returns

When I was a kid, I thought lizards were the coolest thing. I don't know why. Anyway, I liked to collect them and keep them as pets. In a fishbowl. In the backyard. Sometimes (okay, often) I'd forget about them.

The last time I did this was December 1985. My brother, good-hearted soul that he is, chronicled the story for me. My mom has kept these for the past 23 years and eventually framed them, bringing them out every Christmas. She didn't put up a tree this year, but Elwood still made an appearance.

Can't see? Here, I took some single shots. Still not the best quality, but I was laughing.

Can you see the twigs I included in the fishbowl to make it seem more homey to my little lizard? Too bad I didn't include a blanket. Yes, he has "x"s for eyes and his tongue is sticking out. BECAUSE I KILLED HIM. Also, please notice he's wearing red Chuck Taylors.

Man, I really suck at taking pictures. This is Matt's interpretation of what was going on in the Elwood Lizard home the evening he'd been captured (AND KILLED). Elwood's brother--or sister--is frantically asking "Mommy-where's Elwood?" and Mommy just as frantically answers "I don't know!". There's also a framed picture of Elwood over the fireplace. And the entire lizard family is wearing Chucks.

Ah, here we go. I must have dumped Elwood's frozen little body for his family to find (leading to the ever popular show CSI: Lizard). The family is gathered around the casket as Mommy, in her funereal black, sobs. They have a priest (or some religious figure) presiding over the poorly-attended services. Guess Elwood really wasn't that loved after all. NICE TRY, MATT! In case you can't read the head stone, it says:

Elwood Lizard

Killed by Jill Calonico

July 12, 1985-December 9, 1985

I share this story with you because, in the tradition of true Christmas miracles, Elwood returned home this year.

I should have Photoshopped some red Chucks to really drive this point home, but Mom and I found Elwood II in the house Saturday. I released him (completely alive) into the backyard to return home safely to his family.

Matt, I think this could very well be the best Christmas ever.