One more thing...

Man, I don't post anything for a month, now I can't shut up.

Anyway, I love my brothers. I do. I said it. They're both on entirely different continents and I hardly "talk" to either of them, but they're good guys. Read Matt's blog. Comment if you can. He likes that. And my sister-in-law (not her, the other one) isn't moving to Ireland yet, she's only going to check out a place to live. So that makes me feel better.

Just had to get that off my chest.

Caddyshack III & IV: Poop Harder

Sigh. Much like Harry Potter book seven, this sequel will have to be split into two.

Will pooped in the tub on Sunday. This time was more of a chocolate chip cookie consistency. I'm not afraid to tell you, dear reader(s), that if I hadn't been watching his mouth, I'd actually have thought he'd simply regurgitated said cookie. I promise, it's not as weird as it sounds since he actually had just eaten one.

Last night's tub-time was poop-free. I thought I was in the clear.

Tonight was another bath night, since Will broke in the crabbox after dinner. I thought we'd be poopless since I had to change a dirty diaper before he went in the tub; you'd think I'd know better. To make matters worse, he waited until all the water had drained, so there was just this... mass... of poop sitting in my nice clean tub. BTW, the cleaning ladies came today, which makes this whole thing even better!

So, what is it? What's causing this? The past two times there've been NO indication or warning and, like I said, I'm trying to wait until after the night-time poop before bathing. Is it the warm water in the tub loosening up the bowels? Should I just keep using cooler water with each bath? What happens when its summer time and we go to the pool?

For the record, this isn't in any of my parenting books.

We've got crabs

Man, this whole post is going to be all funky. Sorry about that.

So, this week we decided to take full advantage of our backyard and start loading it up with kids' toys. In addition to Will's play station (slide-swing combo), we've got the 4-wheeler, rocking horse, wagon and the latest to our family: the sandbox and picnic table. We're more excited about this than Will is.

This is where I'd normally post pictures of our purchases and the adorable child playing in and/or with our purchases. Someone, I have absolutely NO IDEA WHO THAT COULD BE, seems to have misplaced our digital camera. So, please make do with the pictures lifted from the Toys R Us website.

First up we have what we originally wanted to purchase. We liked the idea of a 2-for-1 deal and the price was pretty decent. Although it looks like the little girl is about to impale herself on the shovel, I figured that was a chance I'd be willing to take. Then we found out that our particular TRU was out of them. So, we went back to the drawing board and went to see what else was available. That's when we saw this:

It's cute! It's red! It has mandibles which will really freak out Uncle Scott! So now whenever I take a break from work and want to take a gander at our lucious weeds, I'll now also have a giant crab peeking back at me.

Now we've got the Crab Box, but we're still missing the picnic table. That's when we found this:

It's practically the same thing, only with two sides! These kids are obviously having WAY more fun than the other ones. They're pointing and laughing and talking and interacting--no one's threatening suicide. Even better, buying these two things separately was $10 cheaper than the initial one we picked out.

So we've got that going for us.

Seen at Kohl's

Gay Atari. I swear to God that was the woman's name (although it might have been spelled gayatari); why would a nametag lie to me?

Below, Bucket of Will: Same great Will, now with a handy carrying case!

Unsolicited cuteness

He's too much, right? Love him. His uncles? They kind of suck. Except for Jon.

EDIT: OK, his uncles don't suck. We're all a little frustrated with Matt because we didn't get to see him much on his short trip home. We were supposed to see him but stupid Valerie Bertinelli and her stupid book happened and my stupid original boyfriend Eddie Van Halen fell off the stupid wagon and stupid Van Halen had to "postpone" their concert that Matt had planned on attending. So stupid Matt turned back around and drove back home. So, that was our one chance to see him. He left to go back yesterday. We might see him in November if we're lucky.

Scott's still over in London and it's assuming he's staying there (we don't know for sure since he NEVER RETURNS EMAILS); also find out that Stacey's moved to Ireland. Thanks! Glad to have met you, sister-in-law for 12+ years. Would have loved to say good-bye but my brothers SUCK.

Gah. Sorry, needed to vent.

Note to all six-foot tall rabbits

Please do not stand up and try to take a fidgety toddler from his mother. You're a little frightening to start with and the threat of kidnapping just increases this fear ten-fold. If you would simply sit on your little bunny throne and allow the mother to place the child on your lap, things would go swimmingly.

Also, for anyone who cares, my son has learned to start the washing machine. Not just turn it on, but turn on the cycle and press start. I don't think his father knows how to do that.

Caddyshack 2: Eccentric Poopaloo

It was cute the first time. Mainly because I made Jason clean it up. The second time? I'm stuck scrubbing the poop deck and it's not nearly as cute. It wasn't quite as.... firm as last time. The Baby Ruthness of it wasn't present. This is really going to slow down the visitation at Casa de Carter if potential visitors think the tub might have recently been confused with a very large bidet.

I think Will was trying to give me cues. Last time he just stopped playing and started pushing; this time he repeatedly tried to get out of the tub, even though we were nowhere close to being done (Yes, even Will's bathtime has a routine; it works for us). Looking back at it, his face clearly said "OK, lady, you're asking for it".

Today was also Picture Day at school. Some of you may know that Will doesn't usually participate in this b/c School has the photographers come on Thursday when Will isn't there. Not this time, though: this time, Picture Day was Wednesday! Having been given advance notice, I dressed Will in a Cute Outfit: light blue polo shirt, light brown cords--it was cold this morning, shut up--and argyle socks. You are allowed to make fun of me for the argyle socks. When I dropped him off, his fellow BBRmates were in the midst of the picture-taking festivities, one little boy dressed in his sweater vest (!) sitting quietly in the center of artfully arranged, scary-large Crayolas. I was excited for Will's picture moreso with the bruise on his cheek.

Sidenote: Will had his first Accident Report at School yesterday. He fell against a lightweight bookshelf and has a shadow of a bruise on his cheek. The timing was perfect since it was just in time for Picture Day and I can have a shot of Will next to the one of Toddler Me wearing boxing gloves and sporting a black eye. I'm obviously not very worried about his Accident Report.

Anyway, I left Will happy and in line for Pictures in his cute little frat-boy-meeting-his-girlfriend's-parents Sunday best. When Jason picked him up, Will was wearing his spare clothes. Apparently he pitched a fit whenever the photographers tried to get a shot of him, so Will is still without pictures and his perfect little outfit is covered in strawberry yogurt.

Man, I really built that story up with very little for the ending. I fear that Bethany Stories will now be replaced as Jill Stories.