Sick, masochistic...

Now, I'm not saying for who, but I do believe I've got some Christmas gift ideas lined up already...

AAAAHHHHH!

While the Dorothy doll cracks me up, and if it wasn't $800 I'd totally buy Bethany the Moulin Rouge doll, I think the cream of the crop is the ability to make a doll from a photo of a loved one (keep scrolling down). My new year's resolution was to do my Christmas shopping earlier....

Elwood Returns

When I was a kid, I thought lizards were the coolest thing. I don't know why. Anyway, I liked to collect them and keep them as pets. In a fishbowl. In the backyard. Sometimes (okay, often) I'd forget about them.

The last time I did this was December 1985. My brother, good-hearted soul that he is, chronicled the story for me. My mom has kept these for the past 23 years and eventually framed them, bringing them out every Christmas. She didn't put up a tree this year, but Elwood still made an appearance.

Can't see? Here, I took some single shots. Still not the best quality, but I was laughing.

Can you see the twigs I included in the fishbowl to make it seem more homey to my little lizard? Too bad I didn't include a blanket. Yes, he has "x"s for eyes and his tongue is sticking out. BECAUSE I KILLED HIM. Also, please notice he's wearing red Chuck Taylors.

Man, I really suck at taking pictures. This is Matt's interpretation of what was going on in the Elwood Lizard home the evening he'd been captured (AND KILLED). Elwood's brother--or sister--is frantically asking "Mommy-where's Elwood?" and Mommy just as frantically answers "I don't know!". There's also a framed picture of Elwood over the fireplace. And the entire lizard family is wearing Chucks.

Ah, here we go. I must have dumped Elwood's frozen little body for his family to find (leading to the ever popular show CSI: Lizard). The family is gathered around the casket as Mommy, in her funereal black, sobs. They have a priest (or some religious figure) presiding over the poorly-attended services. Guess Elwood really wasn't that loved after all. NICE TRY, MATT! In case you can't read the head stone, it says:

Elwood Lizard

Killed by Jill Calonico

July 12, 1985-December 9, 1985

I share this story with you because, in the tradition of true Christmas miracles, Elwood returned home this year.

I should have Photoshopped some red Chucks to really drive this point home, but Mom and I found Elwood II in the house Saturday. I released him (completely alive) into the backyard to return home safely to his family.

Matt, I think this could very well be the best Christmas ever.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone!

To my brother Matt, who's so very far away, we miss you. A lot. Will ran to your gift before all others, but now he's scared to death of it. However, he does like to watch me try to ride it. So thanks for that. And the gift to us was luckily marked "Fragile" and it made it's way to us from Italy safely. It's now standing proudly in the guest room window so all who drive by can see it from the street. It's a major award, you know.

Mom and Dad, Will loves his Spin-and-Go racetrack, which is oh-so-educational. We've learned that marbles become projectile objects when placed on said racetrack. Also, one of the Target bargain books in the shape of a bus (complete with working rubber wheels) can travel up to three times around without falling over. Any more than that is pushing it. We've been having a damn good time with the drum kit and are excited to get Will to play while we break out Rock Band. Even more sticks for him to shove up his nose! Yippee!

I’ll upload pictures later tonight, but I want to say to Abba, Papa, Scott, Stacey, Matt & Alexis that we love and miss all of you very much. Stacey & Scott, I hope you’re both warm and a bit tipsy to honor our most important tradition of the season: Drunk Christmas. Matt & Alexis, I hope neither of you are. Matt, you’d get fired; Alexis, you’re still fifteen.

Until later!

Anybody need a goose down jacket?

According to eBay, I've apparently bought about $4000 worth. Guess what my friends are getting for Christmas?! My brother in Iraq is going to love it.

Damn good husband

Christmas gift giving tip from me to you:

When purchasing a beautiful new laptop for your wife as a surprise Christmas gift, perhaps it's better not to give the computer manufacturer her email address to confirm registration. Because when said wife gets up in the morning and checks her email, a message from HP specifically saying "Guess who's getting a new laptop!" kind of ruins your moment.

I spent most of today debating whether or not to let Jason know I found out about his gift and an offhand comment he made at dinner pushed me to tell. So here I am, christening this new computer with a brand new post all it's own.

Actually, there will be a separate post on the beauty of this little machine. Because it is wonderful. But now I want to tell Jason (which is actually completely silly as he never, ever reads this) thank you so much. This will not be returned.

Happy Halloween!

Yeah, I'm late. Blogger didn't work for me last night.

Jason did the honor of carving our pumpkin this year. May I present Mr. Meowkins:

We never really got a good picture of Will in his pirate costume on our camera. We're placing all our eggs in Poppy's basket on that one. Regardless, here's a terrible shot of me and a candy-drunk Will:
We went to a few houses in our neighborhood and then carted everyone over to Kristy & Jon's neighborhood as one house over there went completely Griswold on the decorations (of course, we didn't get pictures but are again relying on Poppy).

We met up w/ some of Kristy & Jon's neighbors who have a 15mo little boy. He was Yoda. And he was awesome.

Please ignore my beer belly in this shot; it's not my best picture. The one below is better; I was trying to lean back to not actually be present in the photo, but it didn't work. Also, in the back you can see Yoda's mommy. No kidding, she's over six feet tall.

On a totally different note, I've decided I need to start betting on football games. I haven't been wrong yet; I've called every Cowboys loss and their win last week, plus I called the Texas loss today (SPOILER!). I could be making a killing.

Father's Day 2008

Father's Day 2008 started off with a bang when Will didn't wake up until 9:30; he obviously loves his daddy much more than me. Eventually, we headed over to Carter's for an evening of fun and lots and lots of really good food.

Three generations of Carter men
Will is either a) debating on jumping; or b) wondering if he can pee on Daddy's head.

After swimming, we went down the hill to the Greats' for dinner. The Lagaly's found this fantastic little car at a garage sale in their neighborhood; it's awesome for lots of reasons:

1. Roomy enough for two passengers
2. Car phone
3. Sunroof
4. It's a Woody!

Will drives Kylie around. I think Kylie's baby should be in a carseat, but I was outvoted.
Huh, turns out Kylie should have been in the carseat; we lost her somewhere along the path, but luckily the disembodied hand caught the baby. Whew!
Having found Kylie, Will decided it would be best for her to ride in the front seat and he'll just push.

Happy Father's Day to Dad, Jason, Matt and all of our other daddy-friends!

Playtime with Kylie

A couple more recent shots, this time with Kylie.

Will & Kylie practicing chopsticks.

More fun from Easter. I think Kylie's drowning? Or Will is planning some sort of attack. You can never tell.

Also, we were bathtub poop-free last night. Of course, bathtime only lasted 7 minutes. I had a very unhappy little boy.

Easter weekend

This was a busy weekend for the Carter Clan. Friday night we went to Grandma and Poppy’s because the Religious Godparents were in town. Will and Jovie ate brownies.

Will enjoyed them.

Saturday was Jovie’s birthday party (she turned 2[!] on Sunday) so, being my child, Will of course went into the playroom and entertained himself.

Actually, this isn’t 100% true. Jenny & Justin got Jovie one of those huge playsets for the backyard and Will had a helluva time on the swingset and slide. Jenny was also incredibly smart and had blown up balloons for the kids to play around with, which were a big hit with Will. Until he squeezed them too hard and they popped in his face. Anyway, he ran around the backyard with the ball and balloons and screaming and just generally being his cute self. At one point I called to him and he ran right past me; upon noticing that he had no interest in me, one of the party-going mothers looked at Will and said “He’s so precious! Do you know who he belongs to?”

Anyway, then we had the actual Easter Sunday. We went to Grandma and Poppy’s church since they had a more convenient mass schedule, and Poppy and The Greats’ saved us seats in the second row. Will was a very good boy and loved watching Grandma playing her flute for the choir (that’s not a euphemism). He also applauded after each song, which the choir appreciated. I think he got excited during Communion because he proceeded to give high fives to everyone walking back to their pews. “Body of Christ! All right! Risen from the dead! Give it up!”

Then we went to Kristy and Jon’s for lunch and the Easter egg hunt. While the kids napped, we busied ourselves with watching the Mavs lose and Shaun of the Dead. Nothing says Easter like a zombie movie (sidenote: I really don't know why there hasn't been a zombie movie about Jesus yet. It's fitting).

Please notice the tie.
And the socks.

Shortly after that picture was taken, Will was catapulted into the neighbor's backyard.

And Will got his Easter basket. It was filled with things that look like balls, hence the soccer ball whistle.

Then, we filled up on chocolate and Grandma.


I never noticed how perfectly Grandma coordinated with Kylie's highchair.

BRAINS!