Thursday, December 27, 2007

Wordsmith

Having Hamma(h) and Papa here has been very educational for Tiny. I've included a Will : English dictionary below:

aht: hot
ock: sock
och: clock
caca: cookie
blala: banana (we're really proud of that)
dat: what's that?
done: all done
ball: ball
bye bye: bye bye

More to come.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Nothing new to update

I decided to go with a bigger font; the "small" was a bit too small. I wonder how small the "smallest" font is.

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

Wow. That's small.

We're excited for Christmas and should have pictures up soon. Hamma(h) and Papa got here today, much to my delight, and we're reveling (revelling?) in some Calonico-ness that has been sorely lacking. Don't get me wrong, I adore all the Carter-ness. Sometimes I just need to go back to where I came from, though. Remember the little people, y'know?

Jason had a really long work-day today. But, Robert got robbed at gunpoint. Puts things in perspective.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Cavalcade of goodness, is what it is.

Please for the love of God and the sweet baby Jesus, look at this. It's the most wonderful thing I've seen in a very long time. I love this woman and have determined that I need to be friends with her.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

A Visit with Santa

Santa paid a visit to the Grand Peninsula HOA a couple of weeks ago and the neighborhood kids found time to stop in, have a few cookies, do some pagan dances and have their picture taken with Santa. Will had a good time.

Kylie did not.

Don't worry: Will managed to not give anyone a knuckle sandwich.

Thanks, Jessica Simpson!

Will: What do you mean the Cowboy's lost?
Santa: Romo's on the naughty list ever since he hooked up with Jessica Simpson and her poisonous vagina. Besides, I'm a Packer's fan. I live in a frozen tundra; what did you expect?

Thursday, December 13, 2007

12007 Spring Grove Drive

Last night Jason asked if I missed our old house, which, no. My reasons include:

1. I would have to run into the garage to flip the breaker in order to operate my garbage disposal.
2. I was never sure if I would have to open the window in the kitchen while cooking b/c it was possible that Cal had peed on one of the burners. Burning cat pee smells, y’all.
3. The master bathroom had no door.
4. We had no quarter-round on our floors.
5. The utility room smelled like dead mice. Guess why.
6. Popcorn ceilings.
7. There was a hole in the shower of the guest bath because one of Jason’s cousins tried having sex w/ his girlfriend while bathing (or so I was told).
8. There was a hole in the wall between the two guest rooms so Jason’s cousins had a place to hide beer cans.
9. The half-bath smelled like pee because Jason’s cousins liked to stand on the staircase and attempt to pee in the toilet. The attempts failed.
10. Neighborhood hate crimes which resulted in Jason being interviewed on the news (not in a suspect’s role, thank God).

I do have some fond memories of that house: The Gould’s living w/ us for a short time and still being friends w/ us afterwards. My joy of getting dinner from Pei-Wei on Wednesday nights and settling in to watch Lost and gorging myself on Dan Dan noodles. Jason trying to do pull-ups on the banister to impress his sister, falling and breaking his wrist.

…but that’s another entry.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Secret Lovers...Yeah.

That's what we are. Try so hard to hide the way we feel.



Oh Scotch Tape, how you delight me. You cover up my mistakes and make all my Christmas packages look tight and firm. You are the platic surgery of Christmas. I rescued five packages of you from obscurity at my local Dollar General--I brought you home and have kept you safe and warm; I gave you a place to lay your weary end piece. But I am a cruel mistress, Scotch Tape. I will use you. I will abuse you. I will discard you without a second thought. But oh! how I will cry when you are gone. I will yearn for you, Scotch Tape.



Monday, December 10, 2007

Something clever

Not much going on here; I just felt guilty that I've only been posting once a month.

Will's been growing leaps and bounds--he has to duck his head when he closes the fridge door (otherwise he'll get massively decapitated, according to his screaming (as opposed to getting a little decapitated, I guess? Shut up, I'm tired)). We're also noticing how much more he's comprehending: we're eating dinner and letting him do a little roaming around (he's a free-range kid, after all) and when he starts doing something he's not supposed to be doing, we call him over. Not surprising, but while he used to look up at the sound of his name and do his little shit-eating grin, now he actually walks over to us with a look on his face that clearly says "Pip pip, Mother; can I make you a cuppa?" (apparently I think Will's British; obviously courtesy of Uncle Scott). Anyway, we ask him to play us a song, and he waddles into the kitchen and turns on his little Fridge DJ...

BTW: We love our Fridge DJ. It's actually our Dishwasher DJ, but it works just the same. It's a little piece of Heaven in a Fisher-Price box...

...and he'll walk back over to us and do his little dance. Will's dance is a slight bouncing up and down; he's also learned how to sway, which will come in handy at his 8th grade dances (don't worry, honey, I'll lend you a dollar to buy the Little Red-Haired girl a carnation, kay? Kisses!) His dancing is a pre-cursor (does that need to be hyphenated?) to his new thing: Jumping. These are deep knee bends w/ his arms behind his back, and then quickly standing up straight again. Very different from dancing.

I also think Will can talk a lot more than I give him credit for. I have a witness that will swear she heard him say "I not tired" on Saturday night (of course, this was while he was taking a bath w/ Jovie, so maybe he didn't want to end the slumber party too early and get his diaper frozen?). And Sunday morning after breakfast--when it was time to wake up an already-awake Daddy--Will ran into the bedroom and said "Dada, wake-up". Except it was all one word so it was more like dadawayup, which could also be the phrase used on the next skydiving expedition.

True story.

Final thoughts for today: what is my love affair w/ parenthesis? Why can't I form cohesive thoughts anymore? I used to be smarter than this....

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Will's First Day of Day Care

We're approaching the anniversary of Will's first day of day care. That makes me want to share the story w/ any part of the world who didn't hear it yet. Will goes to "school" three half-days a week: Jason will pick him up by 1pm and spends the afternoon with him, enjoying the spoils of Daddy-Will time while Mommy is at the office and complains a lot.

The first day that I started going back to the office and Jason was without-a-doubt going to have to be done w/ work to pick up Will on-time, was the day he--of course--was working in Buffalo (approx. halfway between Dallas and Houston). No problem. Jason's good about planning exactly how much time he needs to get somewhere and, since he had driven that route weekly for five years, he pretty much has the timing issues down to a science.

Except on Will's First Day of Day Care.

Jason had forgotten that he was driving the car that didn't go faster than 70mph (not a problem if you're 85% of the driving population; bad if you're a member of the Carter family, or you're trying to pick up your child from day care on time). So, while he wrapped up the store when he intended, it would still put him behind schedule by about 10-15 minutes. Being the easy-going guy he is, though, Jason figured that if he left immediately and didn't stop for a bathroom break along the way, he'd make it in time.

Jason drinks A LOT of Diet Coke throughout the day. The store he was working at this fateful day would usually tell him to grab the 44oz. cup and just fill it up whenever necessary; in the course of one inventory, he'll have 2 cup-fulls. Imagine drinking 88oz of Diet Coke in a three hour period. And not going to the bathroom.

Jason plugged along I-45N for about 30 minutes when his bladder started getting mildly uncomfortable. After 60 minutes he was hitting the "Man, I've got to pee" stage. At 75 minutes (still 45 minutes shy of his destination), he was doing the sitting dance of "If I don't stop to pee soon I'm going to drown". While he knew that stopping at a gas station would cause him to lose valuable time, he decided to improvise.

Jason looked around his car and saw not an empty plastic cup that formerly held his frosty drink of choice; no, he saw a teeny, tiny plastic toilet. He performed several evasive and illegal maneuvers and, one possible charge of public indecency later, he was much more comfortable with an empty bladder and a cup full of pee.

What to do? What to do? He didn't want to drive all the way and pick up our sweet six week old baby with Cup o' Pee in the drinkholder. So, he got rid of the evidence.

Jason rolled down the window.

Jason picked up the cup of urine.

(You know where this is going, don't you?)

Jason knocked the bottom of it against the window so that it spilled back inside, drenching him and the interior of the car in tee-tee.

This is when he called me and relayed the story, sending me into fits of laughter that didn't cease. Once I got myself under control, I would go into fits of hysterics again. And why shouldn't I? Jason still had to walk into the day care and pick up our son REEKING OF URINE.

Yeah, I've got to write a book.

PS. Why are both my posts today about urine? So weird. And gross.

Ew, ew, ew

I think I just peed on my foot, y'all.

I finished up my business, pulled up my pants, and the hem of my pants leg is wet. I looked down and I think the toilet had a leak or something because the ground was wet.

Please tell me I didn't just pee on my foot.

However, this reminds me of a great Jason story. That will follow shortly.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

6 years and counting...


Happy anniversary, babe

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Pictures... finally

My friend Allison (new aunt to Sean--congrats Meaghan and Ryan!) got Will the cutest outfit for his birthday; it's my favorite for him to wear. Jason says it makes Will look like the frat boy that Jason never got to be. I had to tell Jason that he's a frat boy in every sense. Anyway, here's Will wearing the outfit; well, at least you can see the shirt.



Jenny and Justin gave Will this ball for his first birthday. I completely credit them w/ all of Will's physical acheivements: he figured out the whole crawling thing after spending an afternoon with their daughter Jovie. Then this ball is what taught him how to walk. I had mentioned before that Jason and his dad had to leave Will's birthday party early to work in Houston that weekend; before they left, Will wasn't a confident independent walker. When Jason got home 3 days after that, the kid could walk a 10K no problem, and could slow down enough to grab a drink from one of the little old ladies handing them out on the side.

Will was good at it, is what I'm saying.

So, a week after the fact, here are the kids in their Halloween costumes:

To review: Will=penguin; Kylie (cousin)=rabbit; Jovie (friend, mentor)=zebra. Or, in this shot, she's a zebra's butt.

Finally, this one from Park after Dark which Awesome Jenny invited us to:

They grow pumpkins large here in Texas. Funny story and then I promise to shut up. The park where this was held is something like 1300 acres. Apparently the week following this little gathering, two men decided to take their combined six children hiking. All six kids were between the ages of two and five. Neither of the men thought to bring along diapers, extra food or water, or a cell phone. Which really sucked when they got themselves lost for 14 hours.

Good, responsible parenting, right there. Makes Will's running away seem not so bad.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Book 'em, danno

Hi. How are you? I've been well, thanks.

Sir William ran away from home on Monday. No, I'm not kidding. I sat at my desk on Monday afternoon, tap-tap-tapping away while Robert and Jason put up the trim on the new entertainment center (btw, Robert and Jason are building me an entertainment center) and watched Will, respectively. The three of us turned to one another simultaneously when we realized that Tiny hadn't made any noises. Then Robert said the scariest/funniest words ever.

"Did we shut that garage door?"

The answer to that would be no.

Will had toddled through the utility room and down The Big Step. Walked through the garage and past the power tools. Down the driveway and ACROSS THE STREET. Then ACROSS ANOTHER STREET. He wasn't two blocks away, but kitty-corner (catty-corner?) to our house. But he was by himself. He walked away from three responsible adults who all thought someone else was watching him.

Funniest part to this story is that it's not the first time that a Calonico descendent has run away from home as a toddler. Apparently Funcle Matt did it, too. And he was brought home by the cops. Can you imagine being my mom and answering the door to see a cop standing there w/ an absolutely adorable little boy (one you thought was in his room quietly playing)?

At least Will doesn't have an arrest record.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

We love you, (F)uncle Matt


Matt left for Baghdad this afternoon.


I didn't get to say good-bye. That makes me two-for-two. I'm such a good sister.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Happy Birthday Will

Oh, you tiny, perfect little man.

How is it that it's only taken twelve months to go from this:


(this one even freaks me out a bit)
To this:



Will's birthday was a success. He's officially one now: no more infant clothes or car seats. He's a fully-fledged, card-carrying member of the Whole Milk-Drinking, Bottle-Weaning, Forward-Facing Car Seat Riding, Toddling Just Enough to Warrant the Name, Cake-Smashing, Table-Food-Eating (but only certain foods because he only has the one tooth), Clapping-Waving-Hi Fiving Club. The WMDBWFFCSRTJEtWtNCSTFEbocfbhohtotCWHFC is an exclusive club; I know of no other 1-year old who belongs to this club, mainly because other 1-year olds have more than one tooth.

Anyway, because Jason and Robert (Daddy and Poppy, respectively) had to leave at 8 tonight to drive to Houston for a store in the morning before driving back up to Shreveport for the weekend, Will had some help opening gifts to speed the process along. He tended to get caught up with things. Like ribbon. And paper. And Jovie playing with newly opened toys.

I was going to add more pictures, but they're not being uploaded correctly (it's slightly possible that I'm doing it wrong). I'll try again tomorrow (or later today. Man, I've been at this for a while) and show you pictures of the cake-eating.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Cow Hotrod & Pink eye

I'm able to watch entirely too much television considering I have a small child.

Jason and I have discovered Torchwood on BBC America. Thanks to Christopher Eccleston's wonderful turn as Claude the Invisible Man on Heroes, I became enamoured of him enough to catch Doctor Who when our PBS affiliate played his season from start to finish.

Anyway, absolutely loved The Doctor (just his season, though; David Tennant is just too bizarre for me) and got sucked into John Barrowman and his Captain (of Innuendo) Jack Harkness, from whom Torchwood (topic!) is spun. TORCHWOOD is an anagram of DOCTOR WHO (as is cow hotrod). Anyway, blah blah blah, backstory backstory, inside joke. How flipping AWESOME is this guy?! He's a weevil (insert your own Veronica Mars joke here. I'll wait). The Torchwood people are collecting them. I just love the little whispy bits of hair--much like Violet Gould's Homeless Baby Hair (yes, Bethany, that's obviously where the similarities end). There's a bit in the show that's reminiscent of Silence of the Lambs, which I'm guessing is why Weevil's dressed like that? Or at all?

Anyway, good show--and I'm not even a huge sci-fi fan; I just enjoy looking at pretty guys. Check it out on Saturday nights. Unless, of course, you have a life.

Also, Will had an eventful week: he had pink-eye, a sinus infection and ear infections in both ears. Of course, other than the pink eye, I had no clue about any of this because the kid won't stop smiling and giggling and just being all around cute. Where did this child come from?

Granted, this picture's a few months old, but I know that, when it was taken, Will had a really bad diaper rash and was vomiting. He's really sick, huh? He just looks miserable.

Man, what am I complaining about?


Thursday, September 13, 2007

Thought for the day

Sometimes when you're angry with someone, it helps to sit down and think about the problem.
(Special thanks to Theresa Kennedy for this little bit of wisdom).

Monday, September 10, 2007

Ointment

A couple of months ago I went to Houston for a baby shower (BTW, congrats to Lee & Christina Tower, whose baby girl Sofia was born August 17). Since Jason was working in Louisiana that weekend, my parents made the gracious sacrifice to babysit. To comemorate (that doesn't look like it's spelled right) the occasion, my niece and pseudo-niece (Alexis and Kathryn, respectively) came over to help look after my oh-so-difficult little boy. For some reason I don't have pictures of Kathryn, but here's one of Alexis. She's gorgeous, right?

Will looks happy, no? Let's find out why:
He seems to have developed some sort of skin condition. Hopefully either of the people reading this can recommend some sort of ointment.

Heh. Ointment.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Am I a bass or a snare?

Will's favorite new toy is my stomach.

While I lost the pregnancy weight (plus an add'l 20 lbs, go me), my tummy is still a rather large and jiggly speciman. And we've discovered that the sound is different depending on where we pat my stomach.

Will thinks that's the coolest thing ever.

So while I lay on the floor and pat the echoing lard over and over and over again, Will sits next to me and squeals, bounces on his knees, and slaps along. Then he bends over and "kisses" (read: places his open mouth on) the belly. Sometimes blows raspberries, depending on the mood. I've confirmed that his gut-busting laugh is my favorite thing in the world.

I've never been so happy to be a fatty.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Elimination Communication

Not quite the ring of "Conjunction Junction", but it'll do.

So I read an article (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/diaper_free_babies) about parents who are potty training their children from birth. I think mom Lisa Bolcato says it best:

"They teach them from birth? Oh, my God!"

Man. I'm still only 60-40 when trying to interpret Will's cries.

And the countdown is on: only 30 days of formula left.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Caught in the act


Will's beginning to enjoy bath time even more now!



Thursday, August 23, 2007

Know what sucks?

When your baby is sick. I'm assuming D-Dub has allergies or something--his nose has been running non-stop for two or three days now.

Do you know what happens when a not-quite-eleven-month-old has a nose that won't stop running and only one parent that's willing to do the nasal aspirator (or what we lovingly call the Snot Sucker)? That's right, children, mucus builds up.

Do you know what happens when you have an overflow of mucus and no way to get rid of it? The most high-volume, vile, disgusting colored upchuck this side of The Exorcist.

Pictures will up be up soon.