Will's First Day of Day Care

We're approaching the anniversary of Will's first day of day care. That makes me want to share the story w/ any part of the world who didn't hear it yet. Will goes to "school" three half-days a week: Jason will pick him up by 1pm and spends the afternoon with him, enjoying the spoils of Daddy-Will time while Mommy is at the office and complains a lot.

The first day that I started going back to the office and Jason was without-a-doubt going to have to be done w/ work to pick up Will on-time, was the day he--of course--was working in Buffalo (approx. halfway between Dallas and Houston). No problem. Jason's good about planning exactly how much time he needs to get somewhere and, since he had driven that route weekly for five years, he pretty much has the timing issues down to a science.

Except on Will's First Day of Day Care.

Jason had forgotten that he was driving the car that didn't go faster than 70mph (not a problem if you're 85% of the driving population; bad if you're a member of the Carter family, or you're trying to pick up your child from day care on time). So, while he wrapped up the store when he intended, it would still put him behind schedule by about 10-15 minutes. Being the easy-going guy he is, though, Jason figured that if he left immediately and didn't stop for a bathroom break along the way, he'd make it in time.

Jason drinks A LOT of Diet Coke throughout the day. The store he was working at this fateful day would usually tell him to grab the 44oz. cup and just fill it up whenever necessary; in the course of one inventory, he'll have 2 cup-fulls. Imagine drinking 88oz of Diet Coke in a three hour period. And not going to the bathroom.

Jason plugged along I-45N for about 30 minutes when his bladder started getting mildly uncomfortable. After 60 minutes he was hitting the "Man, I've got to pee" stage. At 75 minutes (still 45 minutes shy of his destination), he was doing the sitting dance of "If I don't stop to pee soon I'm going to drown". While he knew that stopping at a gas station would cause him to lose valuable time, he decided to improvise.

Jason looked around his car and saw not an empty plastic cup that formerly held his frosty drink of choice; no, he saw a teeny, tiny plastic toilet. He performed several evasive and illegal maneuvers and, one possible charge of public indecency later, he was much more comfortable with an empty bladder and a cup full of pee.

What to do? What to do? He didn't want to drive all the way and pick up our sweet six week old baby with Cup o' Pee in the drinkholder. So, he got rid of the evidence.

Jason rolled down the window.

Jason picked up the cup of urine.

(You know where this is going, don't you?)

Jason knocked the bottom of it against the window so that it spilled back inside, drenching him and the interior of the car in tee-tee.

This is when he called me and relayed the story, sending me into fits of laughter that didn't cease. Once I got myself under control, I would go into fits of hysterics again. And why shouldn't I? Jason still had to walk into the day care and pick up our son REEKING OF URINE.

Yeah, I've got to write a book.

PS. Why are both my posts today about urine? So weird. And gross.