Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Will's First Day of Day Care

We're approaching the anniversary of Will's first day of day care. That makes me want to share the story w/ any part of the world who didn't hear it yet. Will goes to "school" three half-days a week: Jason will pick him up by 1pm and spends the afternoon with him, enjoying the spoils of Daddy-Will time while Mommy is at the office and complains a lot.

The first day that I started going back to the office and Jason was without-a-doubt going to have to be done w/ work to pick up Will on-time, was the day he--of course--was working in Buffalo (approx. halfway between Dallas and Houston). No problem. Jason's good about planning exactly how much time he needs to get somewhere and, since he had driven that route weekly for five years, he pretty much has the timing issues down to a science.

Except on Will's First Day of Day Care.

Jason had forgotten that he was driving the car that didn't go faster than 70mph (not a problem if you're 85% of the driving population; bad if you're a member of the Carter family, or you're trying to pick up your child from day care on time). So, while he wrapped up the store when he intended, it would still put him behind schedule by about 10-15 minutes. Being the easy-going guy he is, though, Jason figured that if he left immediately and didn't stop for a bathroom break along the way, he'd make it in time.

Jason drinks A LOT of Diet Coke throughout the day. The store he was working at this fateful day would usually tell him to grab the 44oz. cup and just fill it up whenever necessary; in the course of one inventory, he'll have 2 cup-fulls. Imagine drinking 88oz of Diet Coke in a three hour period. And not going to the bathroom.

Jason plugged along I-45N for about 30 minutes when his bladder started getting mildly uncomfortable. After 60 minutes he was hitting the "Man, I've got to pee" stage. At 75 minutes (still 45 minutes shy of his destination), he was doing the sitting dance of "If I don't stop to pee soon I'm going to drown". While he knew that stopping at a gas station would cause him to lose valuable time, he decided to improvise.

Jason looked around his car and saw not an empty plastic cup that formerly held his frosty drink of choice; no, he saw a teeny, tiny plastic toilet. He performed several evasive and illegal maneuvers and, one possible charge of public indecency later, he was much more comfortable with an empty bladder and a cup full of pee.

What to do? What to do? He didn't want to drive all the way and pick up our sweet six week old baby with Cup o' Pee in the drinkholder. So, he got rid of the evidence.

Jason rolled down the window.

Jason picked up the cup of urine.

(You know where this is going, don't you?)

Jason knocked the bottom of it against the window so that it spilled back inside, drenching him and the interior of the car in tee-tee.

This is when he called me and relayed the story, sending me into fits of laughter that didn't cease. Once I got myself under control, I would go into fits of hysterics again. And why shouldn't I? Jason still had to walk into the day care and pick up our son REEKING OF URINE.

Yeah, I've got to write a book.

PS. Why are both my posts today about urine? So weird. And gross.

Ew, ew, ew

I think I just peed on my foot, y'all.

I finished up my business, pulled up my pants, and the hem of my pants leg is wet. I looked down and I think the toilet had a leak or something because the ground was wet.

Please tell me I didn't just pee on my foot.

However, this reminds me of a great Jason story. That will follow shortly.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

6 years and counting...


Happy anniversary, babe

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Pictures... finally

My friend Allison (new aunt to Sean--congrats Meaghan and Ryan!) got Will the cutest outfit for his birthday; it's my favorite for him to wear. Jason says it makes Will look like the frat boy that Jason never got to be. I had to tell Jason that he's a frat boy in every sense. Anyway, here's Will wearing the outfit; well, at least you can see the shirt.



Jenny and Justin gave Will this ball for his first birthday. I completely credit them w/ all of Will's physical acheivements: he figured out the whole crawling thing after spending an afternoon with their daughter Jovie. Then this ball is what taught him how to walk. I had mentioned before that Jason and his dad had to leave Will's birthday party early to work in Houston that weekend; before they left, Will wasn't a confident independent walker. When Jason got home 3 days after that, the kid could walk a 10K no problem, and could slow down enough to grab a drink from one of the little old ladies handing them out on the side.

Will was good at it, is what I'm saying.

So, a week after the fact, here are the kids in their Halloween costumes:

To review: Will=penguin; Kylie (cousin)=rabbit; Jovie (friend, mentor)=zebra. Or, in this shot, she's a zebra's butt.

Finally, this one from Park after Dark which Awesome Jenny invited us to:

They grow pumpkins large here in Texas. Funny story and then I promise to shut up. The park where this was held is something like 1300 acres. Apparently the week following this little gathering, two men decided to take their combined six children hiking. All six kids were between the ages of two and five. Neither of the men thought to bring along diapers, extra food or water, or a cell phone. Which really sucked when they got themselves lost for 14 hours.

Good, responsible parenting, right there. Makes Will's running away seem not so bad.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Book 'em, danno

Hi. How are you? I've been well, thanks.

Sir William ran away from home on Monday. No, I'm not kidding. I sat at my desk on Monday afternoon, tap-tap-tapping away while Robert and Jason put up the trim on the new entertainment center (btw, Robert and Jason are building me an entertainment center) and watched Will, respectively. The three of us turned to one another simultaneously when we realized that Tiny hadn't made any noises. Then Robert said the scariest/funniest words ever.

"Did we shut that garage door?"

The answer to that would be no.

Will had toddled through the utility room and down The Big Step. Walked through the garage and past the power tools. Down the driveway and ACROSS THE STREET. Then ACROSS ANOTHER STREET. He wasn't two blocks away, but kitty-corner (catty-corner?) to our house. But he was by himself. He walked away from three responsible adults who all thought someone else was watching him.

Funniest part to this story is that it's not the first time that a Calonico descendent has run away from home as a toddler. Apparently Funcle Matt did it, too. And he was brought home by the cops. Can you imagine being my mom and answering the door to see a cop standing there w/ an absolutely adorable little boy (one you thought was in his room quietly playing)?

At least Will doesn't have an arrest record.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

We love you, (F)uncle Matt


Matt left for Baghdad this afternoon.


I didn't get to say good-bye. That makes me two-for-two. I'm such a good sister.